Anywhere But Here
by Larka's Blessing
Summary: After a break up, Harry hides in a bar. Ron finds him and talks to him, supporting him. Harry continues to drown his sorrows in alcohol, until Draco shows up again and tries to gain back what he lost in Harry. Slash, swearing, drinking


A/N: So, after being gone for a long time, I'm finally back. I lost my muse, I think, due to depression. It wasn't the greatest time for me, and I think I'm still getting over it. Yes, it has to do with relationships, but I'll spare you my life story. In the mean time, please enjoy this one.

This is set in America due to author's laziness. Also, not sure if there's magic or not in this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I own the song Anywhere But Here

JK Rowling owns all the characters and Chris Cagle owns the song. Enjoy.

I sat at the bar, staring at the drink in my hand. It was my fifth. I sighed and looked around. The bar was actually fairly high quality. There wasn't a lot of noise, and everything was done in a warm wooden color. Had I been here for different reasons, I would have enjoyed the at-home atmosphere the place gave off.

But I wasn't here for different reasons. I was drowning my sorrows in whiskey. Again.

My eyes continued to roam around the bar until they fell on a figure that just walked in. I sucked in my breath and quickly put my head down. I hoped he wouldn't see me, but that was probably unlikely.

I threw my head back and finished the whiskey. I raised my glass for another drink, nodding to the bartender when he acknowledged me.

It was then that he sat down.

I spoke first. "Man, I hate you found me here, with whiskey on my breath. I know I should be ashamed. So much for those twelve steps."

He shook his head. "No my friend, I know you're doing your best. After all you've been through, hey I understand. I only came in here to be your friend." There was silence for a while until he spoke again. "You know he still asks about you, and wonders where you're doing and where you've been."

My heart started thudding. He still cared? "Well, tell him I'm in Tampa, watching the waves roll in. Tell him I'm in Aspen, in a cabin, finding myself again. Tell him that I've happy, that I've moved on, better than I've ever been. Just don't tell him that you saw me drowning in this bottle, trying to make him disappear. Tell him I'm anywhere, anywhere but here."

"Why don't you want him to know you're here? I thought you still loved him?"

"It would only break his heart, if he knew the truth. See, I told him when he left, this is the last thing I would do."

He put his hand on my arm. "Harry…"

"Tomorrow, I swear I'm starting over again. I've made it this far and I know how it ends, but he doesn't have to find out where I've been. So if you see or hear from him again, tell him I'm in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, selling cars five days a week. Tell him I'm in Moville, Alabama, getting back on my feet. Tell him that I'm happy, and I've moved on, looking better than you've ever seen. Just don't tell him that you saw me drowning in this bottle, trying to make him disappear. Tell him I'm anywhere, anywhere but here."

"Harry, there's something you should know."

I closed my eyes. "Tell him that I'm happy, and I've moved on, but let him know that I still care. Tell him I'm anywhere, anywhere but here. Anywhere but here, Ron."

"Harry." My eyes snapped open. The broken voice that spoke wasn't Ron's.

A "No." fell unbidden from my lips. I clenched my eyes shut again. "No. Not again. I'm imagining this again. He's not here. It's the alcohol."

"No, it's not Harry. I'm real. I'm here. You're not imagining this."

I opened my eyes and saw that Ron had left. "Why are you here?"

"I want to apologize."

"Draco, you have no idea how much you hurt me."

"Yes, I do, and I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"Harry…"

"If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place. Why Draco? Why did you hurt me?"

"I needed to prove that there was something for me out there."

"What? So you used me? I was nothing to you?"

"Harry, you didn't mean 'nothing' to me."

"Well, apparently, I didn't mean enough to you." I picked up my whiskey that had been placed on the table sometime during the conversation. I took a long drink and felt my world spin.

"Harry, you did mean something to me. You were everything to me!"

"Then why did you hurt me? ANSWER ME!"

"I've given you an answer!"

"No you didn't!"

"Fine! You want an answer? I needed you to prove that I was real. That I could feel something, You treated me like everything,"

"BECAUSE YOU WERE EVERYTHING TO ME!"

"And I felt what I needed to. And I fell in love with you along the way. But I felt like I was burdening you. And we couldn't talk for countless days because I had to hide and I felt like I was ruining your life."

"So you used me."

Draco hung his head. "Yes. I feel terrible about it."

"No you don't. You're apologizing because you want something."

"I want you to be happy, and I want the fighting to stop. Every day I pass Ron in the hallways at work and I get death glares from him. I'm terrified he's going to beat me up. I deserve it, but,"

"So Ron didn't bring you here?"

"No, I followed him."

"Oh."

"Harry," He reached out to touch my arm, but I pulled away before he could. He let his arm fall back down to his side. "I really, really am sorry."

"No you're not, Draco."

"Yes, I am! But you won't take that apology until either I'm dead or on my knees begging!"

"You want to know why? You haven't given me a reason to forgive you! You've given me pointless reasons for your actions, but you haven't given me any reason to forgive you!"

"But you still care about me! I heard you talking to Ron!"

"Yes, I care about you. Hell, I love you still. Even through all of this, I still love you. But I can't forgive you. You hurt me! And you have no idea what you've done to me!"

"I do know what I've done. I don't want to admit it, but I do know."

I narrowed my eyes. "Fine. Tell me what you think I'm thinking then."

"You feel destroyed. After all of this, you feel like everything your aunt and uncle have told you is true, but it's still not. You feel betrayed and unloved, but it's all so untrue."

"You forgot used, Draco. But I'm not the naïve trusting little boy anymore. You were the final straw that broke everything apart. I was willing to trust you, but you betrayed me, and I don't trust you anymore. I can't fully trust anyone anymore. I CAN'T let someone have that kind of power over me again. I don't feel like I'm enough for anyone anymore. What could I possibly give them? A broken heart? Who would want that? I'm the kind of person that only truly falls in love once. You were it Draco. I loved you, but it was all just a game for you."

He had nothing to say.

I threw up my hands. "Say something! I deserve answers at least!"

"What am I supposed to say?"

"I'm not going to tell you what to say. I want answers, and I don't have them. Hence, why I'm talking to you!"

"Give me a question! I'll answer anything you want!"

"How about the one I asked before?"

"Fine! You are worth more than what most people believe. You just refuse to see it."

"I've been shown I'm not. That doesn't mean anything anymore. I just want to know why you did this to me."

"Do you want answers or what you want to hear? Because I've given you an answer."

"No you haven't. Damn it! I had to find out that you decided I wasn't enough from my best friend. I never, ever got to hear it from you. I still don't know why the hell you broke up with me! I still love you and I want to be friends with you, but,"

Draco snorted. "Right."

"What? You don't believe me?"

"If you truly felt that, you would have understood why this happened. Instead, you decide to live in this confused spiral you're throwing yourself into and you try to drown yourself in alcohol."

"You're one to talk. But I can't understand any of this. I don't want to be confused anymore. Explain this to me!"

"Harry, I'm sorry. I just, I, I don't know."

I shook my head.

"Look, I want to fix this. I really do."

"Then tell me. Do you ever think about me? I don't want to hear that you're sorry, or any other elaborate excuse. Just answer honestly."

"Yes, Harry, I do. Every fucking day I do. I worry about you still. Even before we dated, I worried about you. I always worried about you, and I still do. But now it's different because I made you feel like this. I'm tired of this. I hurt you too much. I want to be your friend so I can make up a little of what I did. I just want to earn back your trust and forgiveness."

I snapped my head up. "Forgiveness is one thing. Trust is a completely different thing. I'll forgive you long before I'll trust you again. And I never even said I'd forgive you. You still haven't given me a reason to."

Draco sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I still want to be your friend. I want to be there for you again. I want to know when you're having a bad day and I want to be able to help. You know me well enough to know that I'm being honest when I say that."

"You know, I'm not sure I do. I thought I did, but apparently I never really knew you at all."

Draco sagged his shoulders. "That's fine. But I'm going to fight against everything that happened between us to earn your trust back."

I'd had enough of this. I threw back the rest of my drink, slammed the bottle down on the counter, and left the money on the bar. I looked Draco over one last time and laughed. "Good luck with that."

I walked away from him.

A/N Okay, I know that wasn't my best story ever, but I needed to write it. The dialogue between Draco and Harry was actually spoken between me and my ex. It's part of moving on and putting all of this behind me. And, no, I don't remember everything he said. This was a conversation over an online chat because I'd been avoiding him, and I made the mistake of being online at the same time he was. The only difference is that I didn't walk away from him. My actual conversation ended significantly different, but since it's still ongoing, I wouldn't be able to finish this, and I wanted this to be a one shot because I don't think you're all interested in my pathetic love life. So, there it is, my pathetic story, both real and fictional.


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